“Sorry I’m late, Sir, I was moving house.”
Mr Glanville stared at me. Smiled. Shrugged his shoulders and said
“Only Victor could come up with an excuse like that, so I can only assume that it’s true- come in, take a seat!”
How is everyone?
You may know that I’ve just moved back up to Manly after my year down south in Wollongong [just south of Sydney]. I’m glad to be back, as I love the life here. House-hunting isn’t something I’ve had to do for a long, LONG time, so I found it a little daunting at first. I like sharing with people, and I found some places on Gumtree that sounded good. One in particular stood out- I walked into the apartment, and it just felt like a home, not just a place to sleep. The leaseholder was an english girl about my age. Her boyfriend and friend would also be living there, too. We had the standard talk, and she asked me what I was doing after.
“I’ve actually got a Tinder date that may or may not happen” I told her.
“Ah, good old Tinder- the land of hit and miss”
“Yeah, tell me about it- I’ve got the ultimate Tinder story…!”I replied, as I was leaving.
“OK- you can’t say that and not tell me the story!!”
She was right. However, it’s not the kind of story that you share with people you’ve only just met. I was in a bit of a bind. I though to myself “OK. This could either go really, really well, or really REALLY badly!”
I took a deep breath and told her the story.
She offered me the room the following day.
But now that I’ve thought about it- I actually didn’t have much to worry about, as my dating experience has shown me, after countless reinactments of the American Pie-esque antics of my school friends during all of my dates, that, more than being robust, women actually love those stories: I’ve never had a bad reaction from singing Satyens rap, recounting Donalds end of year English exam story or Richards theory on parental marital arts. They actually thrive on it, and they usually come away thinking I’m the most fun guy ever, as guys simply don’t tell them stuff like that when they take them out.
Although, having said that- I’m still not going to tell you the Tinder story. Not on here. Sadly, I’m starting to succumb to this crippling disease called ‘growing up’ that stops me from writing that stuff anymore. Ten years ago, I might have, but not now. I’m not so badly afflicted that I won’t tell you in person, though.
Manly feels a little different this time around. Some people have moved away, some people have children, now, some have new relationships, or unfortunately, have separated from their partners. That’s just life, I guess. Working your way back into peoples lives again isn’t easy. One new development that I’ve warmly welcomed, and has warmly welcomed me, is Thirsty Thursdays. My ambulance officer friend Billy has a wide network of friends who meet for dinner and drinks every Thursday evening in the same area, rotating through various venues. It’s ultra relaxed, and just a really fun time where guys [it’s guys only] just hang out and chat, and it’s just awesome. Made lots of new friends, and I know there’s one night a week where I can just turn up and I know I can just have a relaxed fun time.
The first night I went, I actually ended up holding court with the Tinder story. They told me there was nowhere to go after that. There was a guy on the next table, who had long since finished his food, listening in and actually writing it down as I was going along “This is f*#king awesome!!!!” he said. So, I guess you could say that I made a bit of an impact with it.
I’m still not publishing it, though.
Tinder, for those of you not familiar with it, is a dating app on which you serially swipe through peoples profiles needing to like or dislike them in order to see the next one. Only if you match with somebody can you actually speak to them, or even view their profile again. I’ve been on it for about a year and half after Patrick forced me to get it, as he was sick of me moping about Johanna. I got off to a roaring start with it. And it helped…. a bit. However, it is very superficial and whimsical- it’s flakier than a dandruff convention, so I’m on the verge of giving up on it. On the other hand, I don’t remember rejoicing in the sheer volume of sane, non-flakey women I was meeting when I was out doing the bar and club thing, either, so it’s difficult to know what to do. It’s amusing, if nothing else. And when dates do eventuate, they’re often quite entertaining. I think by far the best description of Tinder has to be the video made by Benjamin French [Frenchy]. I cried laughing when I saw it. Here it is:
After much turbulence, I made it to my school friends wedding in Greece in August last year. It was a beautiful, and very private affair, with only about twenty of us there, including a handful of guys from school, including my other best friend from school, Stuart, who is already married, with a child.
In between speaking in Batman quotes, Stuart and I get on so well that we just laugh the whole time. We caught up for lunch the day before the wedding, and the people of Rhodes walking by thought we were completely insane. I updated him with life events since the last time we met, including the Tinder story [which I won’t repeat], after which I told him: “You know- sometimes I feel like it’s my duty to entertain my married friends”. To which he replied
“Oh- there’s no sometimes about it!”
As Chris Rock says “Marriage is some boring ass sh*t!”. But what I think a lot of my married and LTR friends easily forget is that between these ‘adventures’, there are often quite long periods of silence, and a lot of nights spent by yourself. That isn’t always comfortable. Companionship is a good thing. I think they take it for granted a lot of the time.
Wollongong is a lower socioeconomic demographic, but then that tends to make for more severely ill patients, which is great for developing your medical skills. I had a great time there, learned a lot and made some great friends [stalkers not included], but I’m happy to be back in Manly.
My neck is very sore, now, though…
Some of you have read my stalker story- I’ve taken it offline, now. We’re actually due in court soon. I’d just had enough of her. Aside from her toxic behaviour, I can’t help but be a little taken aback by the situation. I’m not saying I’m Gods gift or anything, but I think I have a reasonable amount going for me in life, and I do make a decent effort to look after myself. With that in mind, can you honestly see this…
I would hope that even the most cretinous would be able to see some degree of mismatch here…!!
I was nice to her initially because I’m nice to everyone. Then she got vicious when I told her I wasn’t romantically interested. I wasn’t trying to be mean. I just have standards. I don’t think having standards makes me a bad person.
Anyway, hopefully this ugliness will be behind me forever, and I can get on with things and people more deserving of my time and energy.
I’m actually out of contract at the moment in order to study for my postgraduate specialisation in emergency medicine. It’s been a long road, but hopefully I’m coming to the end of it. When I was doing my UK internal medicine exams [MRCP], my Dad commented that I seem to like doing exams. He’s probably right- I do like learning new things and pushing myself to the next level, but it’s starting to wear a bit thin, now. I’d be very happy to make these the last exams I ever take. And once that’s over, I can devote more time to things like Tinder.
But I still won’t publish the story….
Until the next time.